Sunday, June 16, 2024
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Sock It To Me – Bike Snob NYC

Further to Monday’s post, as pro cycling headgear gets more amusing, so do the headlines:

I had no idea there was even such a thing as a “Head Sock,” and now it’s been banned:

Specialized is upset:

Though the obvious solution is for all Specialized-sponsored riders to convert to Islam. Then Specialized can change the name from Head Sock to Aero Hijab and challenge the ban on the grounds that it constitutes religious discrimination:

Hookless rims, head socks…what a time to be alive.

Speaking of big bike companies and aero gains, facing a financial headwind, Trek will reduce its surface area by 10%:

According to Burke, the bike market is in “chaos:”

For all my mockery of the bike industry, I take no pleasure in any of this and want everyone involved in the making, selling, and riding of bikes to flourish. I said it before and I’ll say it again, maybe we should have told the Pando Cyclists to fuck off when we had the chance, and if you’re a victim of all this bike industry “right sizing” I apologize for whatever role I may have played in helping to inflate the bubble:

Frankly, when I think of all the newbie cyclists I helped on the side of the bike path during that time it makes me sick to my stomach. Instead of helping them fix flats I should have said, “Welp, looks like you’re fucked. Have a nice ride home. Maybe riding bikes isn’t for you. Have you looked into golfing? They say it’s the new cycling.”

“But wait,” they’d no doubt have replied. “I thought cycling was the new golf!”

“Well, yeah,” I’d explain. “It used to be the new golf. But then when it became golf, golf became cycling, and cycling became golf again. Which means you should be golfing, not cycling. Do you get it now?” Then I’d clip in and ride away, leaving them stranded and confused.

And that’s how you mind-fuck someone out of riding a bike.

But there is a silver lining to all of this–or, if you prefer, a wind-cheating head sock under this helmet of despair–because retailers are now offering unprecedented discounts and incentives, which means there’s never been a better time to buy a bike:

I can’t tell you who the “semi-famous cyclebrity” is, and I will neither confirm nor deny rumors that it’s the late George Plimpton:

Just kidding, everyone knows he rode a Y-Foil:

Just kidding.

Though bringing back the Y-Foil could be exactly the testosterone patch on the perineum Trek needs right now:

From the paint scheme to the plentiful spacers to the shifters mounted over the bar tape, this baby is perfection from stem to stern.

Finally, in case you needed more bad news, bicycle deaths in New York City are at a 23 year-old high:

And most of the riders who died were using e-bikes:

As I’ve noted before, it’s difficult to draw meaningful conclusions from this when you don’t know how much of the total ridership is now using e-bikes…though according to the DOT the proliferation of e-bikes is “not entirely” the reason for the increase:

I dunno, four electric Citi Bike deaths in a year sounds like a lot to me. It’s harder than you’d think to find total Citi Bike deaths by year (maybe that’s by design), but it it seems to me that they were exceedingly rare before the latest grey e-Citi Bikes arrived. Then again, the system has also grown considerably over the years…though there were also far fewer bike lanes when Citi Bike debuted, so who who knows?

Ultimately, the most important conclusion to draw from the article is that no matter what you’re riding the biggest danger you face out there is turning trucks:

Understanding that is probably the single most important part of staying alive on a bike in New York City.



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